1. The One Who Doesn't Die
2. War on Despair
3. Someday I Will Live My Life as a Horse
4. Vinegar Stew (workstation vers.)
5. Lillian Awoke
6. A Prostate in Autumn
7. BDA 30
8. Brazen, Ablaze
9. Thailand? (Why Can't All the World Be)
10. The Coughalong Song
11. Suicide Skyline (Method II)
12. Catholic Nihilist
13. Workplace Homicide

The One Who Doesn't Die

I should have written more songs
when I had the chance
of life and love and true romance.
But it's time to write another song
of the sort I've been singing all along.

I turned 60 today
and it's good to be alive.
I'm in your obituary where it says "Survived By."
I'm alone once again.
There's another friend in Hell
another eulogy of mine delivered so well.

Sometimes I tire of being the one who doesn't die.
One time there was a line
that I would self-quote often:
outlive your enemy
so you can shit on his coffin.

But they're dropping away
'til there's nobody left
a cadaver parade
of the bereaved and the bereft.

Sometimes I tire of being the one who doesn't die.

Sometimes I tire of being the one who doesn't…

feel very well… all of a sudden…

War on Despair

I'm a bit of a cripple
and I've been since I was four.
My daddy threw me down the stairs
and I didn't walk right any more.

But walk away I did
through the decades without fear.
They let me drive the slaughter car
because I knew how to steer.

And I've been winning the war on despair
by attrition.
Winning the war
on despair.

Let me tell you about this homeless girl
who used to fuck with me every day.
She laughed at my limp
and called me a gimp
every single day.
So I gave her junky boyfriend
some cash to strangle her dead.
Fifty bucks up front
two hundred at the end
was the deal that we set.
He was kind of a good guy
knew a lot about baseball.

Come out of your closets.
Come out of your graves.
Come out of your sleeping bags
and your toothbrush holders.
Come out of the inside.
Go in to the outside.
It's time for your swan dive
into the river of flame.

Someday I Will Live My Life as a Horse

I will live my life as a horse
no marriage or divorce
just a bed of hay
that doubles as a place to play
or a meal
or the basis of a meal
like lettuce in a salad.

I will live my life as a stone
not a man of styrofoam.
Smaller pebbles and the dirt will be
my only friends.
In the weeds
we will ponder greater deeds.
We will prove that granite bleeds.

I went outside looking for air.
There was no air to be found.
I had a wad of gum in my hair
fading from pink to brown.

I will end my life as a corpse
with a smile on, of course
having lived a life that radiates
through lives not lived as well
no clothes on me in the casket
they will call it the naked funeral.

Vinegar Stew (workstation vers.)

I was a doctor
and I was married to a nurse.
We never got to practice
but we often got to rehearse.

Then I was a lawyer
and I was married to a paralegal.
I lost her at the ocean.
She was carried away by a seagull.

Spring comes this week
or I shall simply spring a leak!

Landlocked yet lonelier
than any man lost at sea
stewing in his vinegar
like a big shit salad.

Ah… like a big shit salad.

I was a murder
and I was married to a birth.
Earth is just a nicer way
of calling someone dirt.

Lillian Awoke

Lillian awoke and looked out of her window.
She saw her pajamas on the washing line.
She had taken them down before she had gone to bed.
Now she wonders how they got back on the washing line.

A Prostate in Autumn

I fell asleep
my vertebrae in tangles
beneath a sullen tapestry
of sexless angels.

The carpet was a different story altogether.

Every time I piss myself it feels like it's the last time.
Every time I piss myself it feels like it's the last time.

The final transmission
of my bladder to the world:

all my love
and all my best."

BDA 30

Brazen, Ablaze

Brazen, ablaze, the bashful nymph
serves me a smile the color of lymph.
This is the dish that I asked for.
This is the plate that I got.

Everything smells like soda.
Everything tastes like snot.

Nothing brings joy to a world gone sad
like a beautiful girl who smells real bad.
These are the teeth of the giant.
These are the fists of the dwarf.

Suffer alone in silence.
Smile until you snore.

Thailand? (Why Can't All the World Be)

Johnny's got his ticket
for a twenty four hour flight
across the broad Pacific
to a land of eternal night

He's travelling on business
but he's not a businessman.
He's got a taste for chicken
but not the kind in coq au vin.

He'll start out with some satay
to whet his appetite
then slurry down some shumai
cause it won't put up a fight.

His mind is in a whirl
as he falls asleep he's smiling.
Why can't all the world be Thailand?

The Coughalong Song

Open up your heart and let the blood flow out.
Open up your mouth and let the bile come out.
Open up the clouds and let the sun shine through
the magnifying glass I'm holding up to you.

Better shut the window, there's a gas in the air.
Better spread your legs, because it pays to be fair.
Open up your pores for the sweat to be had
in the sauna of my spirit, pawn of Gilead.

"Banish the weak, infertile and foolish…"

Listen to the cough.
Listen to the cough.
Listen to the cough.

Glisten like an infant
In a pink snail trough.

Suicide Skyline (Method II)

The pigeons on my wire sold their space to ravens one day.
They arranged themselves to form the notes of the chorus to "Gloomy Sunday."
And the spires cut these wires like the scars upon your wrist
and the fog that snuggles from above is a Zyklon Beta mist.

When the milkman comes with a carton of eggs
that are painted to look like hand grenades
don't make the Colonel Kurtz mistake…
an errand boy can still assassinate.

He scissored off my lips so he could kiss my teeth
ate his breakfast off my tongue
his gayness undid me.

Beware a certain denizen that calls itself a friend
while seeking higher blasphemies:
a quail's egg of revenge.

Die, as one might say, to an enemy or a mother
Die, so we can all just stop
fighting with each other.

Catholic Nihilist

Workplace Homicide

At the first kill
he ceased to be a killer
more a liberator of burden
karma's best enforceress

See a dozen fists unclench.
See a dozen brows unfurrow
in clouds of blood.

And then a baker's dozen.

Angel of death
an angel nonetheless.